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The Six-Month Project · Week 6 Recap

Family first.
Everything else waits.

WEEK OF JULY 6 NO VERSES THIS WEEK SHOWING UP IS THE WIN

This week doesn't have a sync placement or a livestream story. It has hospital hallways and long, uncertain days into nights — a loved one who declined, then bounced back, then declined again, on repeat, for days. No music got made. No admin got touched. That's not what any of us hoped for, but this is what life looks like right now.

What actually got done

  • Fed the family if we didn't eat at the hospital. And if you're wondering, hospital food has more choices these days but is still pretty devoid of flavor
  • Went through our loved one's bills and got autopay set up on all of it. It was a five-hour wormhole that almost broke me
  • Ran the errands nobody else could get to
  • Mostly did a lot of hugging, handholding, holding back tears, letting them flow, and being real

What I struggled with

  • Fighting the depression demons that told me the universe was throwing me off track "yet again," and then questioning what the future was going to look like
  • Cursing myself for not anticipating life curveballs when I started this project…and then cursing the stupid side of my brain for even thinking something so inane
  • Feeling far away from my "normal"
  • Feeling guilty for all the things I've been feeling
  • Fear, sadness, hope, repeat
  • Losing ground on this project, my presence on social media and for my Patreons
  • Being cryptic about what's actually going on to respect the privacy of the family (I REALLY HATE BEING CRYPTIC…but this is not my story to share)

What helped

  • Reaching out to talk to friends and family outside the situation
  • Mindless renovation TV shows late at night
  • Pizza for dinner…and to clarify, I'm not one of those "even when it's bad, it's still pretty good" pizza people. I like GREAT pizza. It was not great. It was fine. I'm ok with that
  • Having to be strong for others. Seriously. Knowing that I was needed made me rise to the challenge in many ways
  • Letting go of literally everything and just being
  • Trying to stay off of social media

The takeaways

  • This is life. Regardless of the scope of a project, deadlines, FAMILY FIRST ALWAYS
  • Even when the hard stuff happens, it does not erase all the work done, and it does not mean the project is tanked. It means I may not hit ANY of my goals, but I am still going to work it as if it will once things settle down
  • Love is the most powerful energy of all. This situation has given me a lot of time to reflect on who I have become. My truest goal is to reclaim the version of me that always looked for the light in every being. Who practiced radical kindness. Who didn't need to win as long as I got there
  • Never, ever wait to express love. Just do it. Sh*t can go down in a heartbeat and no one needs to carry regret with them ❤️

Week 7 — no pressure timeline

No expectations or plans other than being present, being supportive, being kind…and hopefully a livestream on Tuesday, but it all depends on how things go.

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